


After a Thousand Lifetimes

by Hanalea_wolf1992



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, And Selyse is a good mom BECAUSE SHE IS!, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, I'm such a Lobster Flambe trash, Modern Setting, Mostly show canon, Shireen is a cinnamon roll (as usual)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 01:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4899805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanalea_wolf1992/pseuds/Hanalea_wolf1992
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jon Snow failed and Westeros fell to darkness, Melisandre’s soul had wandered regretting having abandoned her King. She finds him again after a thousand lifetimes and is granted a second chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another LF fic because I still not over season 5.  
> Sorry for the grammar mistakes.  
> Enjoy!

**Melisandre**

 

There was no light.She could not tell how much time had passed, but she knew it was only a matter of time before the end, before darkness consume her whole. They had failed, she had failed and now the entire world would pay the price.

Alone in the ruins of Castle Black, she waited. After Jon Snow fell in battle she knew the world was doomed to fall with him.

The priestess had thought she was in the right path this time, that her new champion would be victorious. She had failed once but would not do so again. _Stannis._

She had misread the visions the Lord sent her, she was only a human after all and humans err. She had put her faith in the wrong man but had fixed that mistake at the end, and had gone to the one her Lord intended her to all this time. _The only mistake you made was leaving him, to his death… alone._

She tried to shut the voices in her head and ignore her heart… that was aching _my King_ _._

She was going to die, and the rest of the world would too, she did not need her flames to know that. She thought of Stannis alone laying in the snow, broken or worse. Hot tears were running down her cheeks and it burned… burned… _Just like She did._

She had let him fall, he had trusted her and she abandoned him like she once promised would never do.

“All was for naught” she whispered, sobs wracking her body, it hurt… it hurt she was only a woman after all, made of flesh and blood, in that moment she was that little slave girl again powerless _my King, my love._ She wondered if he felt so helpless like her in his last moments _you left him… You left him and the last thing he felt was your betrayal._

She wept, she deserved this, to fail, like he did. Darkness was coming, she felt it and for the first time in her life, embraced it. _My King… Stannis._

 

**Stannis**

 

Stannis woke at the sound of his alarm clock. He was tired, had spent most of the night listening to a drunk Robert telling him how much he hated his ex-wife Cersei “That bitch pretends to leave me penniless, Stannis” his brother whined “And had the nerve to tell me he cheated on me!” _Like you did to her_ Stannis thought _countless of times_ … Robert kept babbling for an hour until he suddenly went silent _he must have passed out_ Stannis thought with disgust.

He rose from bed and made it to the kitchen. He was making himself a cup of coffee when he noticed he forgot to turn off the TV last night, some showbiz news was on and he ignored it. He did not care about which celebrity was marrying or none of that nonsense that kind of programs prattled about. He reached for the newspaper at the kitchen counter while sipping his coffee, thoughhe still could hear the news at the background.

_… And such a talented woman, this tragedy has shocked everyone and surely thousands of fans around the world are devastated…_

He walked to the couch where the remote control was and turned it off. He padded to his bathroom and started stripping and then got into the shower and under the spray, the water was cold as he liked it. He washed his face and what was left of his hair, cold rivulets running down his lean torso. He stood there for a few moments, hands pressed to the tiles, cold water cascading down his body before turning it off.

He walked out of the shower and towards his bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. It was getting late. He dressed quickly in a simple gray suit and black tie, took his suitcase and left his apartment. He walked to the bus stop, he hated to drive so taking the bus to Black Stag Enterprises seemed the easier choice.

 

**Melisandre**

 

She was trapped. She had wished, countless times, for darkness swallow her, not to feel anymore but she was in chains. She died, that day when all hope was lost, she knew that well, yet somehow her soul had refused to fall through that abysm. She wished with all her might that it had not been so.

Her soul had wandered countless times, she knew her body was no more, but she still could remember and feel _I will never abandon you_ those words were still engraved, a broken vow _you did, you abandoned him when he needed you the most._

She was tortured again and again.Seeing his body shattered in the snow, bleeding, or being tormented by the Bolton bastard until he could take no more. Hearing his screams and _her_ screams as she burned and begged. Everything she did, the sacrifices, all were useless and the world still turned to ashes.

_I should have stayed with him until the bitter end_ if the world still had to fall, then she should have followed him, even if it meant doom to both. She had been a servant of the Lord most of her life and had a destiny to fulfill, yet she also was a woman and had yearned for her King in a way she should not have. And that had blinded her. _Your love was his downfall, your love and your betrayal._

Her soul had been silent for a time, in the dark, she had felt no more and foolishly thought her torment had come to an end but her agony was far from over. She was condemned to wander aimlessly. The land where she was by far the most strange she had ever been. Everything she saw seemed odd and foreign. She kept walking until her eyes fell on a man _No, it can’t be…_

There he was, very close from where she stood. His clothes were strange to her but his face… she would recognize that face anywhere, was carved in her memory, in the heart that ceased beating a long time ago. _Stannis._

 

**Stannis**

 

Stannis was scowling and taping his feet impatiently, waiting for the traffic light to signal he could cross the street. It had been a stressing day at the company, dealing with Renly’s tantrums and Robert’s drunkenness and the only thing he wanted now was to get to the quietness of his flat and rest.

The signal showed the green walking man and he crossed the street and walked towards his building. When he got to his flat, he immediately shed his office attire and donned some pajama bottoms, he did not usually go around shirtless but the evening was too warm. He decided to call her daughter Shireen before her bedtime like he did every day since he divorced Selyse.

He dialed his former house’s number and waited for her daughter to pick up as she always did. “Hello?” his daughter answered “Hello, Shireen” he replied “Oh Hi, daddy!” his little girl exclaimed “How was school?” he asked her “It was good! We read a story about a hungry dragon… dragons give me nightmares sometimes but this one was not scary at all so I was not afraid!”

"That's good"

She kept chatting animatedly about school and her classmates. He was glad his six year old was excited for she has always been introverted and shy. He knew it was probably due to his and Selyse's seriousness. He loved his daughter and knew his ex-wife did too, but they had never been good at showing emotions.

"...And then Walder tried to steal my cookies but Rickon threw mud at his face"

"If this Walder boy keeps giving you trouble I would have to speak with your professor and..."

"Miss Osha already spoke with mommy and Walder said he wouldn’t bother me again, he’s afraid of Shaggy”

“Shaggy?”

“That’s Rickon’s dog, he looks very big and scary but he’s sweet and let me climb up on him like a horse”

“Shireen…”

“Rickon told Walder that if he was mean to me again Shaggy would eat him” her daughter giggled “I think he wet himself”.

“Shireen that’s not the correct way to deal with…”

“Don’t worry daddy! Rickon said he will protect me like the knights in my books and I believe him” Shireen said solemnly.

He sighed “Alright, but I will speak with your mother about this” He told her seriously “It’s nearly your bedtime so you should go”.

“Good night daddy! See you tomorrow I love you.”

“I love you too, Shireen”.

He hung up the phone and walked to the kitchen to prepare himself some dinner. A few minutes later he was sitting at his small kitchen table eating a sandwich and drinking a glass of milk. The TV was still humming softly at the background.

_The doctors say she’s stable for the moment but in a state of coma, they can’t tell when or if she will wake up, the accident the singer suffered was very serious and she´s lucky to be alive as it is…_

He was annoyed at the noise so he went to his living room to turn off the bloody thing. He was stunned when he found a red haired woman dressed in a strange crimson gown. She was very beautiful he noted, tall and slender.

“Who the hell are you? And what are you doing here?” he demanded, coming out of his stupor.

She did not answer, only looked at him with tears in her eyes _was she crying?_   _Why the hell would she be crying?_

“What are you doing here, miss?” He asked her more calmly.

“St—Stannis, my King…” she choked out and flung herself at his direction, falling on her knees in front of him _bloody hell! King? What King? Who is this woman?_

What on earth are you doing? He demanded “Who are you and how did you get in?

“Forgive me, oh please forgive me my king” she kept bawling _is she mental?_ “What I did to you was outrageous, but I had since then, regretted it… please…” she kept sobbing “Miss, you can’t be here, you are going to leave right now or I’m calling the police”.

“You are angry and with reason. I abandoned you, I shouldn’t have. Now I know it”.

“Stop blabbering, woman!” he snapped.

“I will never abandon you, ever again my King, I swear it” She tied to grab him but he moved away.

_This is nonsense!_ He went to the phone with full intent on calling the police when he noted the demented woman was already gone. He sat on his couch, baffled _what the hell just happened?_

 

**Melisandre**

 

She stood there, watching him as he paced up and down. She knew he couldn’t see her now. She despaired. He had refused to hear her _what did you expect?_

He was different, yet she knew it was her King… her Stannis. She felt it.

He stopped pacing and walked away, she followed him to his chamber where he sat on a big bed, running his hands over his face. She watched his every move until he fell asleep. She walked to where he was sleeping and sat beside him, a great longing filled her. She stretched out her hand as if to touch him but thought better of it and just remained there, on his bed gazing at him.

_I will earn his forgiveness_ she thought determinately _even if it's the last thing I do._

 

**Stannis**

 

The next day Stannis woke up feeling weary. He was assaulted by strange nightmares the whole night, he dreamt about ships caught in a great green inferno, screams, snow _and her,_ the strange red woman he saw last night, he was certain he saw her face in those dreams too.

_Am I going mad?_

He shook his head and got up off bed. He took a quick shower and got ready to work. He needed to speak with Davos about what was happening to him but what was he going to say? That somehow some woman dressed in red managed to enter to his flat without him noticing and then disappeared on thin air, leaving him perplexed. And then there were these strange dreams _what did all that mean?_

Upon arriving at Black Stag Enterprises, Stannis went straight to his office to catch up on the reports he left yesterday. After a few minutes he was absorbed in the documents in front of him and had forgotten all about the red woman until he heard a knock and Davos’ head appeared at the doorway.

“Good morning, Stannis” his friend said cheerfully.

“Good morning” he responder tersely.

“Is there something wrong? Davos enquired. He knew him well. _Damn him!_

Stannis sighed. How was he going to say this without sounding like he was completely mad?

He cleared his throat and began to speak “Last night… a woman was in my flat”.

“So you finally decided to move on and met someone” Davos said pleased.

“Not like that” Stannis retorted exasperated.

“No? Then how?” his friend asked.

“She broke in”.

“What?! How?!” Davos sounded alarmed now.

“I have no clue, all of a sudden she was there, in my living room wailing about some King she abandoned and other nonsense”.

“Wait… what King?”

“Me… I suppose”.

“You?”

“Yes… I don’t know, she was talking to me as if I was that damned King”.

Davos let out a chuckle.

“Glad you find it amusing” Stannis said sarcastically.

 “Forgive me, Stannis but you have to admit the whole situation is a bit comical”.

“It’s not, she was clearly out of her mind”.

“Poor woman” Davos answered shaking his head “And what happened then? Did you call the police?”

“I was going to but…”

“But?”

“She disappeared” Stannis murmured.

“Pardon?”

“She… I turned around for a moment and then she was gone”.

“Just like that?” Davos asked surprised.

“Just like that”.

They stayed in silence for a moment until Davos spoke again.

“I think you need vacations”.

“What?”

“You work too much and perhaps that…”

“You think I imagined the whole thing?!” Stannis demanded glaring at his friend “You think I’m mad?”

Davos held up his hands in surrender “I’m just saying it’s strange that she banished just like that” he told his friend apologetically.

“And it’s not just that” Stannis continued “I had… strange dreams last night”.

“What kind of dreams?”

“Screams, fire that red woman’s face”.

“Red woman?”

“Yes, she was all dressed in red… in my dreams too and…” Davos nodded, indicating him to continue “In my dream I saw the strangest thing… I was in a ship and then there was this horrible green fire surrounding me and all I could hear were screams” His friend said nothing, just stared at him wide eyed.

“Davos?”

“I… I’ve had the same dream… Dale and Matthos too”.

“Are you sure?”

“Quite sure… though it may be a coincidence” Davos added hesitantly.

Stannis buried his face in his hands “What is this madness?”

 

* * *

After his conversation with Davos, Stannis found hard to focus on his reports. He could not stop thinking about the red woman. He decided to go home early seeing as he was not going to get anything more done and besides, Selyse would drop Shireen at his flat soon and he still had to cook dinner.

He took the bus, as usual, his thoughts still focused on last night’s events. He got to his apartment and started to prepare dinner. The pasta was almost finished when the doorbell rang, he went to open the door and found his daughter beaming at him “Daddy!” she called and flung herself at him “Hello, Shireen” he responded and hugged her back.

He glanced at Selyse who was standing back and watching the scene with a small smile “Selyse” he greeted formally “Good evening, Stannis” she replied.

“Shireen, say goodbye to your mother and go inside, I’ll meet you shortly”.

Selyse kneeled so his daughter could give her a kiss “Goodbye mommy! See you on Sunday” the little girl said and ran inside.

“Selyse” Stannis began “Shireen told me about that boy, Walder”

“You don’t have to worry Stannis, the school is taking the necessary measures and that boy will be expelled if he tries to bother Shireen or another kid” his ex-wife explained.

“I’m glad, just let me know if something like this happens again”.

“I will… here’s Shireen’s stuff” she said handing him a purple bag “Make sure she’s in bed at 8 and brushes her teeth… Goodnight Stannis” She smiled politely.

“Goodnight Selyse”.

Stannis closed the door and went to his living room where his daughter was sitting on the floor entertained with some of his books “Are you hungry?” he asked her and the little girl nodded smiling up at him.

After they ate and Stannis took the plates to the dishwasher, he scooped up a sleepy Shireen and carried her to her bed. He tucked her in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, he made it to the door when a voice stopped him “Daddy?” his daughter called “Yes, Shireen?” she bit her lip before continuing “Would you scare off the bad dragons?” she asked, looking at him with pleading eyes “Dragons?” she nodded “Sometimes I dream dragons come to eat me… but you wouldn’t let them, would you daddy?

“Of course not, I would chase them away with my sword if they tried to hurt you” he told her amused, his daughter clapped her little hands smiling brightly at him.

“Now, you better go to sleep, it’s late”

“Yes, daddy. Goodnight”

“Goodnight, Shireen”

He made sure his daughter was asleep and went back to the living room, it was still early for him to go to bed so perhaps he could advance on the reports he postponed earlier.

 

**Melisandre**

 

She saw when the Princess came running and was relieved the girl didn’t seem to notice her. She still could hear her screams _Father please! Father!_

_It had to be done… at least that’s what I thought._ She did not take pleasure in the girl’s suffering neither that of her King, but the Lord had demanded sacrifice. Yet in the end it was all for naught, her God’s champion failed and the world had been swallowed by darkness.

She glanced at the little girl again and noted she was enthralled with a book on her lap _even in this strange world she’s not far from those_ she thought, allowing a small smile to curl at her lips _so innocent_ she felt sharp pang of guilt _she must have felt betrayed by her father and it was all my fault._ Her King returned and she was glad he didn’t see her, she couldn’t face him right now.

* * *

 

When he returned after putting his daughter to bed she made her presence known “My King” she whispered softly. He turned to her wide eyed "You... again?" he stuttered.

"Please, you must hear me, my king".

"QUIET, WOMAN!" he thundered "I will hear no more nonsense".

"You need to know how much I regret having abandoned you" she told him desperately "I should not have, even if I was mistaken, my place was by your side always…”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your daughter… the Queen… it was all my fault, my King please forgive me”.

“You are insane, lady and you are going to get out of my home NOW” Stannis barked.

“Please” she fell on her knees “Don’t make me leave you, not again”.

Her King was furious, looking at here with nothing more than contempt _I deserve it._

“I SAID LEAVE!” He made to grab her but his handwent through her arm, he looked at her wide eyed, mouth hanging slightly open “what is this sorcery?” he murmured.

“My king…I…”

“What… are you? He demanded “What do you want from me?”

“I only want your forgiveness, Stannis”

“I don’t… I don’t know you… I don’t know what are you talking about and I’m no King” he sat down “I must be going mad” he muttered.

“Stannis…”

“Listen to me lady, I’m not the one you are looking for… I can’t be” he stood up abruptly and left.

“Stannis… please” she whispered but he was already gone.

 

**Stannis**

_I have lost my mind, that’s the only explanation_ he thought, after fleeing from the red woman he went to his daughter’s room and closed the door. Thankfully the commotion had not woken her and she was sleeping peacefully.

His head was spinning, he sat down carefully on his daughter’s bed and rubbed his face. He had never believed in ghosts and that kind of rubbish but he had seen it with his own eyes, or rather he thought he saw… he was not sure anymore. _Who is that woman and why is she pestering me?_

Next morning he woke up at the feel of a little hand pinching his cheek, he opened his eyes and stretched his stiff muscles, groaning “Daddy?” his daughter called “Did you sleep here? Were you afraid of the dragons too?”  She was looking up at him, blue eyes full of curiosity.

“No I wasn’t” he responded “Are you hungry? Do you want pancakes for breakfast?”

“YES!” his daughter whooped and ran to the kitchen “Hurry up, daddy!” she called back.

He reluctantly stood up from the bed and followed her to the kitchen. After having breakfast Shireen insisted on watching some cartoons and he sat there lost in thought and not paying attention to what was on the TV. He couldn’t stop thinking on the mysterious red woman and why she haunted him.  

Thankfully he didn’t see her the rest of the weekend and was able to spend quality time with her daughter, though the red woman was constantly on his thoughts. When Selyse came to pick up Shireen on Sunday evening he hugged and kissed his daughter goodbye while she chatted animatedly, telling her mother all the things they did over the weekend.

After closing the door he went straight to his bedroom, a good night’s sleep would do him good.

 

**Melisandre**

 

Melisandre watched her King sleep, after that night she had decided not to make her presence known in the time he was with the Princess. It was plain he loved his daughter and the decision he made that day long time ago had been without no doubt the hardest he had ever made.

Could it be true? Could it be possible that he doesn’t remember anything? But how could he have forgotten everything? How could he have forgotten her when she hadn’t been able to get him out of her mind after all this time?  She needed to make him remember, no matter what it took _and what will happen when he does? He will hate you as you deserve_.

She brushed her hand on his stubbled cheek, carefully as to not to wake him. His sleep was not peaceful, she perceived it and wondered if he was tormented by nightmares as she always had been when she was alive _I’m still tormented_ she thought, but now instead of seeing my own anguish I see his.

She brought her lips to the corner of his mouth and he felt it, his eyes fluttered open "You again?" He sighed tired "What do you want from me, woman? Why don't you leave me alone?"

"Because you are my king and now that I have you back… I won't let you go again".

"I'm not your king, how many times do I have to tell you so?"

"You may not remember it, but you are, you are my king and once I swore to serve you"

"Swore to serve me, you say? Yet you admitted having abandoned me, lady”

Melisandre lowered her head “I did” she quietly whispered. How could she explain? She needed him to remember, to make him understand even if it made him hate her forever.

 

**Stannis**

 

The woman lowered her head mournfully “I did” she said in an almost unintelligible whisper. He did not know why, but he felt a stab of guilt pierce him. He buried his face in his hands, at what point his life had become one of those mystery novels his father had loved so much? When he looked up again the woman was already gone, he did not understand why he felt disappointed.

Later, when he arrived at Black Stag Enterprises he had every intention of talking to Davos but thought better of it, he still was not totally sure he wasn’t going crazy. As was usual in these last days, Stannis couldn’t focus on his work and instead his mind drifted to the red woman.

_You are my king and once I swore to serve you._

That day he went home early... Again and found her sitting on his couch. She smiled at him and he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was _what is wrong with you?_

"I suppose by now that is useless to ask you to leave, is it not?" She didn't answer, just kept gazing at him with her smile still in place.

"I cannot leave, not until you know, not until you understand" she said seriously.

Stannis sighed, defeated "Tell me, then”.

She talked about his brother and he scoffed at the thought of Robert as a ruler. She told him about Renly’s defiance and about what he had seen on his dreams, she had called it Blackwater. She spoke of something called the Wall and darkness that had threatened to devour it all... He would not believe it… couldn’t, yet… Again, his head was spinning _how could it be?_

“You said you abandoned… me “.

“I… I did”.

“How?” he asked her and saw a flash of pain cross her eyes. She stood up from his couch and walked towards him. He stood his ground, he did not fear her, she just… disconcerted him but at the same time he felt calm. Somehow his presence was soothing. And deep down, though he did not understood it, he felt like it was meant to be that way.

 

**Melisandre**

 

Melisandre approached her King, she needed to tell him, even if he ended up hating her. After all that happened the least she could do was tell him the truth. “There was going to be a battle, I was sure of your victory but…” She paused, he was looking at her with that frown she had come to know so well _and love, you love even that of him._

“But what?”

“You were the Lord’s chosen, at least I though it so but he showed me… he showed me I was wrong”.

“And then you left him, your King, just like that?”

It had not been an easy choice but she had a duty, a destiny and she could not fail. Even when she realized her mistake she had despaired and remembered her promise to him _I will never abandon you._ But at the end she had put her duty above her heart’s desire.

“I wanted to stay by your side” _I longed to_ “but I was a servant of the Lord and my duty was, first and foremost, to him” _even if I ached_ “I needed to find his true champion I believed if I did the world would not fail”.

“And then?”

“I left, before the battle. I marched back to the Wall, where the Lord had intended to send me since the beginning”.

“But you weren’t… why?”

“I left myself be lead astray” _I was selfish, I was blinded by my yearning and that was our undoing_. “I was only a human and I stumbled, failed to see”.

She glanced at his face expecting to see disgust but instead she found him staring at her pensive, slightly frowning.

“But” she continued “It did not matter in the end…the world still fell”.

“And your King? What happened to him?”

“My King lost the battle… and died” _Alone_ “And I never saw him again… until now”

“How can I be your King, woman? He died, you told me so”.

“And so did I, but I came back as you did… you came back to me”.

She stood in front of him, her eyes never leaving his “I was granted a second chance” she lifted her hand and grazed his cheek, saw goosebumps appear on his skin at her closeness “I will not make the same mistake… This time I will not abandon you, not again”.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last part!  
> Again, sorry for the grammar mistakes.

**Stannis**

 

Days passed and Melisandre, as he had learned the red woman was called, was his constant company. But most odd of it all, he could not recall when her presence had ceased to disturb him.

He was on his couch, drinking lemon water when she appeared beside him “You never liked wine” she said smirking “Always preferred that” he scoffed “There’s nothing wrong with lemons” he told her indignantly, her melodious laugh followed him as he stood up to take his glass to the sink.

“You always were a creature of habits, Your Grace” she was still smirking “And that hasn’t changed, it seems”.

“You seem to know me well”.  

“I do”.

He frowned, grinding his teeth. In recent nights he had been having strange dreams, even more so that the ones he had the first time he saw her. There was something plaguing his mind.

_He needed to know._

She was watching him questioningly, like she knew about his turmoil. _She probably does_ he suspected. Sometimes he felt like she could read his every thought, like he knew him even better that himself.  In those restless nights when dreadful nightmares assaulted him, only her presence could soothe him.

He did not understand this effect she had on him, it unsettled him. In the time since Melisandre walked in his life a part of him still had refused to believe in what she told him. He could not believe he was that King she spoke about, one who had lived and died so long ago, in another lifetime, yet his steadfast belief was cracking and he could no longer deny what he saw, what he felt.

He had to know.

“You were my most trusted counselor, were you not”?

She laughed “I was, though I’m sure the Onion Knight would claim otherwise”.

“Were you only that? For me, I mean”.

She turned serious all of a sudden, she came closer to him and he saw her beautiful face fill with sorrow, he wanted to enfold her in his arms and comfort her as she unknowingly did him, yet he knew he could not.

“You gave me a position in your court, you deemed me worthy of your trust, I was your servant… yet I yearned for more, even if I shouldn’t have, even if I denied it to myself until it was too late”.

He shouldn’t have asked, he knew.  Whatever happened in the past, whatever tore them apart would stay as it was because how could they fix it now? He must not cling to her presence, to the calmness she brought him, to what he felt for he knew he could not retain her by his side, just like that broken King could not long ago.

 

**Melisandre**

 

At first, Melisandre was taken aback by his question. She had told herself many times that they were nothing more than a King and his advisor, that the Lord had tied them together to overcome the Long Night as his servants and whatever they did was in service of his cause. Yet now she knew she had been wrong, they had been joined by something deeper than duty _alone we are born and alone we die, but as we walk through this black vale we draw strength from one another._

He took a few steps away from her, running his hands through the scarce hair on his head and for a moment she thought he was going to flee, but he stayed where he was although he would not met her gaze. She sighed.

“I should have not said that… not if I have known it would cause you distress”.

“I wished to know” he mumbled. “I’d better go to bed, it’s getting late”.

“Of course, I’ll leave you then” she told him dejected.

“N-no… stay” She looked at him puzzled “I… it helps me… to sleep when…when you are near”.

She couldn’t help but smile, he must have taken it the wrong way because a frown appeared on his face and he was grinding his teeth “forget it then” he muttered and walked away. She followed him quickly to his chambers.

“My King… Stannis” she called.

“I do not need your mockery, woman” he grumbled.

“I do not mock you, Stannis” she told him patiently “sleep, I’ll stay with you” _I always do._

He eyed her warily and got into bed. She sat beside him with his back facing her “thank you” he uttered almost unintelligibly. She smiled, watching him as he drifted to sleep.

  _You should tell him about the princess… and the queen._

“I can’t” she whispered. He would hate her for sure if he knew, and she could not bear that. Someday he would remember everything, she knew, but she could not tell him, not now. Her gaze returned to her King as he slept peacefully, she would cherish this moment while it lasted.

 

**Stannis**

 

Stannis approached her ex-wife house, he wanted to see Shireen to give her a present, it was a book about the adventures of a princess and a giant he had purchased in a tiny bookstore. He knew her daughter would enjoy it.

He rang the bell and a rather disheveled Selyse appeared at the doorway, she was wearing an apron and hurriedly said something about baking while she rushed back to the kitchen “She’s in the living room” she called over her shoulder.

He walked inside and found his daughter sitting on the floor with a coloring book, she was distracted with her task while softly humming, so she didn’t hear his footsteps.

“It’s always summer under the sea, I know, I know oh…oh…oh” she sang.

He paled and felt his breath leave him as suddenly a swarm of images came rushing back.

_And I declare upon the honor of my House that my brother Robert left no trueborn heirs, the boy Joffrey, the boy Tommen, and the girl Myrcella, being born of incest between Cersei Lannister and her brother Ser Jaime Lannister._

_A man should never refuse to taste a peach. He may never get the chance again._

_If a man knows what he is and remains true to himself, the choice is no choice at all. He must fulfill his destiny, and become who he is meant to be. However much he may hate it._

_Forgive me._

_Father please! Father!_

_Go on, do your duty._

The book fell from his hands with a thump causing his daughter to look up at him “Hi, daddy” she greeted him happily, she picked up the book laying at his feet “Is it for me?

“I…y-yes”.

“Thank you, daddy!” she replied happily, Selyse returned from the kitchen drying off her hands on her apron.

“Look mommy! Daddy brought me a book” Shireen told her animatedly.

“That’s good sweetheart. Will you stay for dinner, Stannis? I made meat pie”.

Stannis looked at her and flashes of her bruised neck and pale face when his men cut her down from the tree came flooding _speak up. It can't be worse than mutiny._

“Stannis, are you alright?” she asked him worriedly.

“I… yes I am… I can’t stay I… sorry”.

He darted up to the door and fled, chest heaving. He remembered. Everything.

He walked aimlessly for the streets and plopped himself down on a bench, burying his face in his hands.

 _The Lord of Light has made good on his promise, my king_. _You will receive what is yours by right._

 _Her_. _Damn her!_ She had tricked him, made him give his only child to her fire god. He had fell for her empty promises and she had led him to his doom. He rose from the bench and set off to his flat with purpose. He burst in fuming and slammed the door shut loudly. He found her there as usual, smiling up at him.

He was furious, she must have noted it because the smile erased from her face.

“I know it now. I. Remember. Everything”.

“My King…I”

“DO NOT CALL ME THAT!” He thundered “It was all your fault. You deceived me and then deserted me”.

“Stannis please… you need to hear me” she pleaded, her false tears would not sway him now.

“I don’t want to hear the lies of a traitor. Remove yourself from my presence. Now” he seethed.

“No… please”.

“NOW!”

Melisandre gave him one last sorrowful look before her form faded. He sank down on his couch and stared long and hard at the space she had vacated. Now more than ever, he felt alone.

 

**Melisandre**

 

Melisandre wandered despairingly, as she had done many times before. Her strength seemed to be diminishing and she suspected the time when she would vanish entirely was getting near _it matters not. I have no reason to be here anymore, not if I don’t have his forgiveness._

He had told her to leave, had called her a traitor with such hate that she felt as if he had struck her _what did you expect?_   _He’s right, you are a traitor._ Despite what reason told her, she needed to see him, at least for the last time.

She materialized in front of him, he appeared to be sleeping but she knew better. “My King” she addressed unwavering. He opened his eyes immediately and she was almost taken aback by the frost in his gaze.

“I thought I made myself clear, Lady Melisandre” he said coldly “Your presence here is not welcomed”.

“You must hear me, Your Grace”.

“Must I? What good has ever come from hearing you?” he spat scathingly.

“Once you valued all counsel, and listened to anyone that had something to say… me included” she retorted _he’s still so stubborn_.

“Save your lectures, woman. Why don’t you go to your precious Lord Snow? Perhaps he will be more inclined to bear your incessant prattling”.

“I did not choose him over you”.

He let out a humorless laugh “Did you not? Didn’t you deserted me to go to the Wall when you realized everything was lost?”

“I had to, out of everyone, you should understand about duty” she snapped.

“You forget your place, lady” he countered glaring at her.

“Yes, I forgot my place. I was just a lowly servant, never should have dared to fall for a king”.

She saw his eyes widen slightly but he schooled his features quickly and scoffed.

 “Save your lies, my lady. You served me because you mistakenly thought me your Lord’s champion, there was nothing more between us. You did not care for me and neither did I”.

She lowered her head. She knew he was lying, felt it, yet hearing him say those words hurt her _he’s lost to me._ She would not persist anymore for it seemed he would remain immovable _he’s hurting as much as you._ Her strength was leaving her, she could feel it yet she still had to let him know…

“You were my last thought, your face the last thing I saw, before darkness took me” He stayed silent, his face unreadable. “You were more than a mean to an end to me, you need to know that… I’ll leave you alone now”.

 Her heart ached. She had bowed not to abandon him again but, what choice did she have?

“My lady…wait”

 

**Stannis**

_“You were my last thought, your face the last thing I saw, before darkness took me… You were more than a mean to an end to me, you need to know that… I’ll leave you alone now”_

She shot him one last mournful look and he was sure she was going to make good on her word and leave.

“My lady… wait”

He did not know what possessed him to stop her from leaving and before he could stop himself he was closing the space between them. He stood in front of her, looking into her eyes intently.

He should be mad at her, she had deceived him after all, had tricked him into murdering his only daughter _she did not made the choice for you, you thought it was the only way and so did she._

She was looking at him expectantly, eyes filled with such hope it almost left him breathless. He swallowed hard before he spoke.

"Lord Snow... Did he mean more to you as well?"

She had gone running to him after all, and he still remembered the way she had looked at the bastard that day at Castle Black's courtyard _why would she choose an old sour man over him?_ He thought bitterly.

She smiled sadly at him, shaking her head.

"Even after my body was no more, even after a thousand lifetimes and even now when my soul withers..."

There were tears in her eyes and as she held out her hand towards his face he saw her from start to fade away.

"My lady...?"

"Even then I will still love you".

"What is happening?"

With a last tearful smile, she completely disappeared.

"My lady? Melisandre?" He called desperately, but she did not answer.

He should have told her, he was a fool. He sank down to the floor distressingly. Why didn't he tell her?

_Even now, I still love you._

* * *

 

It had been two weeks since the last time he saw her and her absence cut deeply. He felt lost since the night she left him _I should have told her what I felt... I should have told her I forgave her._

He had been cruel to her, he knew. He had demanded her to leave and now that she had, he did not know what to do with himself.

_Damn you woman! You did not kept your promise and left me again… broken... more than before._

* * *

 

He had avoided everyone after that day, even Davos. At Black Stag Enterprises he couldn't even face his younger brother.

He had spoken with Shireen and apologized for leaving so hastily the other day, it had been hard for him to see her or her mother after knowing what he did to her, to their little girl.

As always, his daughter was the only one who had been capable to get him out of the miserable state he was in. He dreaded the day she would remember how he had betrayed her. She will hate him and he knew he could not bear to lose his daughter… not like he lost _her_.

_Even then I will still love you._

 

* * *

Last night he had been unable to sleep, as it was usual now. He was no strange to nightmares or restless nights, during the war it had been all he knew _and only Melisandre could soothe me to sleep but now she’s gone…_

He got out from bed and went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He sat on his couch in front of the TV with a steaming mug in his hands, only half listening to chatter on the background.

_Since she woke up after being unconscious for weeks, the famous singer claims she’s now a new woman and she will make the most of the second chance she was given…_

His phone ringing brought him out of his reverie. He saw the ID caller and answered half exasperated _Robert._

“What?”

“Stannis, thank god! I need a favor” _of course you do._

“What is it Robert?”

“I have this meeting with a woman but I can’t make it…” _Oh for the love of…_

“I will not _excuse you with your lady friend_ , Robert! Do it yourself!” he snapped irritated.

“Is not _that_ Stannis, she wants to be part of Greenstone, that’s what we were going to discuss…”

Greenstone was a charity started by their late mother, Cassana. After their parents died, the brothers had decided to continue with their mother’s work as a way to honor her memory.

“… Anyway, this Melony is a singer or something, the one who was in a coma for more than a month”

“What?”

“Oh come on Stannis! It was all over the news”.

“I did not hear, Robert, and in any case, why can’t you go to this meeting?”

“Ned called me, apparently he found my boy Gendry in her youngest daughter room”.

 “What? She’s practically a child. What was Gendry thinking?” His nephew had always been a responsible boy, so unlike his father…

“The girl is 15, Stannis” _Oh, that’s better isn’t it?_

“Robert…”

“Anyway” his brother interrupted “Ned wants the boy’s head… and mine, so I have to fix this”.

“Then call Renly”.

“I tried, but a man with an odd voice answered me and told me it was the wrong number and then started to gibber in some strange language… though I’m sure I heard that Tyrell boy laughing…” _Typical_.

Stannis sighed “Fine, I’ll go. Send me the address”.

He showered and got dressed quickly and after receiving the address from Robert he decided to walk instead of taking the bus. He figured fresh air might do him good. When he got to the meeting place he realized it was a small coffee shop and was almost deserted, apart from the bored man at the counter and the two giggling teenagers sitting almost at the back there was a woman who he assumed was this Melony his brother had spoken of. Her back was to him, her long copper tresses standing out from the dull surroundings. He took a step towards her.

“Miss…?

She turned around and he felt his throat dry. He looked at the woman all clad in red, her stunning face gleaming with a mischievous smile _No, it can’t be._

“You are late” She simply told him, still smiling.

He looked at his watch and saw he was, in fact, on time.

“I waited a long time for you” she added.

“Did you?” _Even after a thousand lifetimes_ “Then I’m glad you did not decide to leave”.

“I promised your brother I’ll be here” She extended her hand to him and he took it, as in a trance _Even then I will still love you._

“And I don’t break my promises… not anymore”.

_This time I will not abandon you, not again._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending was heavily inspired by Rooftop Prince (If you haven't watched it, you totally should).  
> I'm still on denial about season 5 and what happened to my OTP so I'll probably continue to write crappy fics to vent my feels.  
> Thanks for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me your thoughts ;)


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